This Is Me...Then: 2014

YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM...

YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM... But it really does make sense. If you can stop laughing long enough to get it. She did an interview in which she explained the title. It was before her current marriage, so pre-children. Before she married Marc Anthony, back in the wildy obnoxious world dominated by "Bennifer" (don't even TRY to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!) Her contention was that when she DID have kids and they went back and listened to that album, or read about all the drama, her answer would simply be- "I wasn't always your mom-This is who I WAS then. Different (obviously) than who I am in the present, but it was where I was at that very moment. I was trying to capture the moment and preserve it for a time (like now) when it would all seem so long ago". And it made PERFECT FUCKING SENSE to me. Because so much of my life right now is about regaining the parts of me THEN that I miss and integrating them into my life NOW. Because one day, even THIS will be THEN... And I want them to know me THEN...

Because while being their mother is the most important thing, it isn't the ONLY thing.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Wishing for more AND less

So, for the first time since before the menagerie came along, i am failing. I have too much work, too much responsibility, and not enough of me. I am NOT the better parent and I haven't been for a few months now. Work is overwhelming and not satisfying. The grow up life I wished for is sucky. That's all I have right now.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Yesterday

Yesterday, I was a really good Mom. Seriously, I just ROCKED all the Domestic stuff, pretty much all day long. There was a pool trip, a bike riding nature walk, laundry, home-made onion rings and an alfresco breakfast, just to name the highlights. That's really all I have. I just wanted to take the time to call on this specific day in case the rest of the week makes me seem like the less friendly version of Cinderellas stepmother.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Beginning Again

So, I suck at the big posts. I have huge grandiose plans to write PAGES of funny, insightful, touching Story Stories. But they always fall through. So I am borrowing a tactic from my dear friend Greg, over at http://journeythrulongmind.blogspot.com . I am just posting moments for a bit. With the occasional photo for flavor. Hope this works better!