This Is Me...Then: 2013

YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM...

YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM... But it really does make sense. If you can stop laughing long enough to get it. She did an interview in which she explained the title. It was before her current marriage, so pre-children. Before she married Marc Anthony, back in the wildy obnoxious world dominated by "Bennifer" (don't even TRY to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!) Her contention was that when she DID have kids and they went back and listened to that album, or read about all the drama, her answer would simply be- "I wasn't always your mom-This is who I WAS then. Different (obviously) than who I am in the present, but it was where I was at that very moment. I was trying to capture the moment and preserve it for a time (like now) when it would all seem so long ago". And it made PERFECT FUCKING SENSE to me. Because so much of my life right now is about regaining the parts of me THEN that I miss and integrating them into my life NOW. Because one day, even THIS will be THEN... And I want them to know me THEN...

Because while being their mother is the most important thing, it isn't the ONLY thing.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Our 9th Anniversary

So here's the deal- Sometimes, being married sucks. I wish I didn't know this but I do. On Facebook (and in real life) there is a tendency to pretend that this is not the case. We show the cute, funny pictures and tell the awesome adorable Story stories and we don't show what a struggle it is sometimes. We don't talk about how much it sometimes SUCKS to work together, or how hard time management is with a menagerie or any number of other everyday stupid things that make it absolutely no fun to be married. Because that's not awesomely adorable, or cute or funny. But today, on the 9th annniversary of the day I married my favorite (and sometimes LEAST favorite person) that is exactly what I am celebrating. I am proud of the fact that we both show up on even the least fun days. I like that even when I run away from our life, it is still waiting patiently when I realize it's time to come back. I love that even when we are bone tired, we still find things to laugh about and that on the suckiest day, you are still the only person I would want to spend this life with. Happy anniversary Man Story. The worst day with you is still better than a life without you.