There is no part of me that wants to begin again. I want to recognize today as another day to improve on those that proceeded it and build on my successes. I have too much to be grateful for to want to start over.
To that end, I have no resolutions. But I do have a few things I'd like to work on improving. And here they are, in no particular order;
1.) I want to run more. It is damn difficult to stress while running. I need that outside my head space.
2.) I would like to get rid of stuff. It is taking up too much space. In my head and my house.
3.) I will continue to praise my children in front of my children. I genuinely don't care about "one-upMOMship", but I do need them to hear more than just the shouting to clean up and listen better. They're GREAT people and they need to know it.
4.) I will work on not hurting people. I am reckless and casual with my words. I will try very hard to hear the things that come out of my mouth.
5.) I will not waste my time. Socially, electronically, professionally. Make of that what you will. I left it broad because I am still working out what that means.
6.) Final one- more time writing. I am a decent writer, but I need practice and to focus on it if I want to improve. Expect to see more here. I'm shooting for 5-10 posts a month. If you want me to write about something, ask. I need inspiration some days.
Happy 2015
This Is Me...Then
YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM...
YES, I KNOW. IT'S THE TITLE OF A JENNIFER LOPEZ ALBUM... But it really does make sense. If you can stop laughing long enough to get it. She did an interview in which she explained the title. It was before her current marriage, so pre-children. Before she married Marc Anthony, back in the wildy obnoxious world dominated by "Bennifer" (don't even TRY to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!) Her contention was that when she DID have kids and they went back and listened to that album, or read about all the drama, her answer would simply be- "I wasn't always your mom-This is who I WAS then. Different (obviously) than who I am in the present, but it was where I was at that very moment. I was trying to capture the moment and preserve it for a time (like now) when it would all seem so long ago". And it made PERFECT FUCKING SENSE to me. Because so much of my life right now is about regaining the parts of me THEN that I miss and integrating them into my life NOW. Because one day, even THIS will be THEN... And I want them to know me THEN...
Because while being their mother is the most important thing, it isn't the ONLY thing.